The Dark Side of Life by Funny Books Creator Corporation

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You or one of your loved ones becomes unemployed and cannot find job. -- Never happened. But I must admit, even having two degrees, I took any job available. So, I was cleaner, butcher, machine lubricator, whatever. Of course, they usually happened when I was in alien countries, usually without my diplomas, or they were not recognized.


You or one of your loved ones loses all confidence in yourself and become a homeless. -- Once I met one of my architect classmates in a fleamarket. He was so poor, that he could only put down a dirty piece of paper on the soil, and tried to sell things he mined from the garbage. He told me his wife found another man, divorced him and took everything he owned. Then he was kicked from his job. And that was that.

 Without resources and friends you must live with an abusive acquaintance. – Once I lived in a ruined mobile home in West Virginia, at an acquaintance. My host was not especially abusive, just wanted me to be grateful. One night I crept to the toilet, and my left leg went through the floor to my crotch. Another time I sat on the sofa and an old vomit glued itself to the back of my only jacket. And so on.

You or one of your loved ones are going to jail. -- Luckily only a distant relative made four years. I could live with that.

You or one of your loved ones get swindled. – I got swindled about a dozen times. The biggest one was about a thousand dollars, and I knew in advance that it was a swindle. One of my teenage daughters thought she would be a mannequin, and there was a company that made "presentation" CDs. She was photographed for two hours, a CD was made, and of course she was never called. But she had an experience.


You or one of your loved ones get lost in a forest, desert or at sea. – I wandered in the forests of Malaysia and Indonesia [Sumatra], but I always had a map, and of course I knew the four quarters of the globe. I mean if you can decide which way is South, than it is okay. The longest march I did took about eight hours, when I made a shortcut between two paths. It is hard to understand how could someone get lost. But then I know, many people are confident enough not taking a map. Of course, usually they are them, who cannot decide which direction is North or South. Talk about go wrong with confidence.

You or one of your loved ones is on his/her death bed. – I had this experience six times and none of them was pleasant. Even a decade later I dream about some of them.



Your own business is crashed, goes to bankruptcy. – I had set up a dozen businesses in a half a dozen countries. Of course, I never wanted to become a business tycoon, I did it only to get spending money.  Practically all of them went down the drains. Some were satisfactory, but when I moved to another country, I had to shut them down. They all were before the Internet era.

 

 

You or one of your loved ones captured and forced to become a slave. – I was afraid for almost a year when one of my daughters went on a world-around trip. She had two other girlfriends as companions, but we all know what help that could be. There was no kidnapping, although other girls vanished from places they visited two times. I could only pray.

There is a government conspiracy not to tell the truth about something you know as facts. – People say the stupid American presidents ignore the global warming. But that is not true. Everyone living anywhere on the surface of our planet have experience of the climate change. The presidents neglect and lie about global warming because they want their lucrative private businesses remaining. Like Trump and the coal mines.

One of your loved ones has died. – Although they all are buried a long time ago, now I know that the vivid memories will stay with me as long as I live. More about that theme in a book of poems.

 

Your spouse sexually abuse your children. – God, the gods, or Life or Fate, or Chance spared me the experience, although I had several spouses, and got several children.

 You or one of your loved ones becomes wheelchair-bound or bed-bound for life. – No comments. I could say only things which a not politically correct, as I am not a bootlicker.

Health-threatening issues, caused by bad food, drink, medicine, etc. – Once my face bloated up like half of my head. An injection and some medicine took it down in a couple of hours. Another time, my throat swelled up, inside. I could hardly breathe. The ambulance took me into the emergency in a hospital. I got directly an injection into my throat. They said I only had about ten minutes more to live. I could call that a close encounter.

Your or spouses' sexual organs for making a child are taken out, and now want children. -- Some take-out happened but after we had children.

Your spouse has left you. – This is a quite-everyday event. Of course I lived through this several times. Also the opposite side.



One of your loved ones got killed. – Not exactly, but one of my best friends since our teenage years were murdered when we were about forty. I was working as architect, and he was the night manager in a very big hotel. He told me they always hold rooms by way of false reservations for "special activities", as he called them. They had rooms for prostitution, for drug abuse, and criminal meetings. He also had a room for himself, decorated with antique sculptures, paintings and ceramics. He made twenty times as much money as me. Sometimes he had me around in his special room for some fancy dinner, entertaining me with wild tales. It ended when he received some criminal for talking about a shady business, and the man murdered him with one of his Art Nouveau statue.
You or one of your loved ones are exposed as a criminal on national TV. –Slipped.

There is a public, unsaid confederacy, including your parents, to suppress actual parts of life. – Let me mention but one example. Never heard about more than two sexes, or horroristic sexual practices before I began my travels.

 


All your friends abandon you, nobody wants to recognize you, because you or one of your loved ones supposed to had done something. –  I always had several groups of friend, so that the groups never met. Once in a three-guys group, they got totally angry with me, about something I never did. I tried to reason, I tried to persuade them, but after the initial rejection they would not even talk to me. At no time did they tell me how or why they though I did what I have not done. A many-years friendship was ended on that way, and I know it will stay an unsolved mystery.

You or one of your loved ones is slowly dying by untreatable sickness. -- The dead bed again.

Your home is destroyed by a natural disaster, like fire, flood or hurricane; or a human one, like railway, explosion, etc. -- I survived a flood when I was, for a summer, living with my grand parents, on my mother's side. The river seemed kilometers wide, and we could go to the house from the backside, through the neighbors fences, and approach the house on laid stones, planks and sandbags. Fortunately the house had a floor about a yard above the soil, and the flood did not come up the whole way.

You or one of your loved ones cannot handle your grief. – Several times I felt like that, but in the end, I survived. So, even if I felt I could not handle grief, somehow I did.

 

You or one of your loved ones is maimed. – One of my mother's brother was maimed. Someone tried to kill him with a bit of iron tube, and the bones in his had simply broke into dust. He got a metal plate implantation. He never recovered totally; he suffered from physical and mental problems as long as he lived.

Your family business goes down the drain. – Once with one of my wives we tried to open a pub. The neighborhood was cheap, the guests were cheap, and the business didn't survive a month. Nor did our money.


You or one of your loved ones get kidnapped. – Gratefully avoided.

There is a social complot practice, including your parents, to conceal some facts you experienced. – It was quite funny how my parents were avoiding the theme of criminals and crime. We lived in a respectable neighborhood, in an eight-apartment, three-stories brick house, in the inner city. And my parents were straight like an arrow. As I was brought up, I had to discover myself, that out of the eight flats, four family man was put into prison for several years for different white-collar crimes. Quite a percentage.

You or one of your loved ones cannot recover from an accident. – This is still going on, so I am unable to chat about that.

You or one of your loved ones loses his/her total lifework before being able to present it. – My father wrote books, but he was quite naïve, so he was never published. Then he died, when I was still young. His life work, about half a yard high typed sheets, my mother put onto a shelf. When a burglar came, he swept all the shelves, so the sheets covered the whole room. When we tried to put them together, it came out that there were no page numbers, and the pages had no headers to show what book they belonged. And of course, they were typed on the same typewriter, with the same style. We could never make head or tail of it.

One of your loved ones vanishes. – What happened that someone didn't come home for twenty-four hours. The anxiety I felt topped everything.

Life-threatening issues like asteroid strike, global warming, nuclear war, etc. – When I was a small kid, we lived in terror for a year, when the Russians put nuclear missiles into Cuba. Everyone was sure the nuclear war would come, the question was only that when. And I heard from most adults that there would be no way to save ourselves. It was a living nightmare.


You or one of your loved ones made an unsuccessful suicide. – It happened to two of my family members, one of them several times, and was not able to cope with the events in any way. I just suffered, and talked a lot., and could hardly sleep.


You or one of your loved ones is too anxious to live, not knowing what happens after death. – When my mother get old, she realized that with every day she goes one step more near to death. And she did not like that a bit. She was quarreling with God every time we met, for years and years. "God is not kind. Why are we living at all? What is the meaning of life if we die?"

You or one of your loved ones are put in the witness protection program and are forced to leave everyone and everything. Also, you or one of your loved ones are in the witness protection program and knows the criminals have found you. – – I have never even heard about someone in this situation in my acquaintances. <Image: going to the estados unidos, the Loompanics book catalog>

You lose all your money and savings. – That was quite a shock the first time it happened. After that it was only unpleasant. As John Carbo said, "I was rich and I was poor, but rich is better."
You or one of your loved ones witness a horrible murder. – Only by watching American action films.

Your or one of your loved ones mental illness makes you want to die. – Having a very big family, my mother with eight, my father with five sisters and brothers, I have this experience, but not able to talk about that in this side of life.

One of your loved ones would be executed. -- That is too hard even to comment.

There is an adult collusion, including your parents, withholding truly bad features of everyday reality. – Crime and sex were already mentioned. Just two more things: You will never become millionaire by saving pennies or cents. And honest work is usually not appreciated.


You or one of your loved ones are drafted to fight in a war against your will. – In two of my countries I was drafted, but not for war. In one case I could get off in half a year, in the other my excuse worked immediately. In my opinion, in any war you are drafted, you do not fight for your country, but for the present establishment, which is always worthless. Your country will remain even after the war goes through it. Only the establishment, that is, your usurpers would change.

You got the HIV virus, so beyond dying you cannot do sex anymore. – Luckily avoided. But. Many people thinks a person can get HIV only by sexual activities. A great minority thinks it is only happen in same-sex encounters. Absolutely not true. It could be transferred by
- Receiving blood transfusions, blood products, or organ/tissue transplants that are contaminated with HIV.
- Eating food that has been pre-chewed by an HIV-infected person.
- Being bitten by a person with HIV.
- Contact between broken skin, wounds, or mucous membranes and HIV-infected blood or blood-contaminated body fluids.

Someone is trying to kill you or one of your loved ones. – Not directly, so, it does not count.

You or one of your loved ones are too fat or too bony so you hate yourself. – My normal weight for my height [186 cm] was 86 kilos. When I went up to 90, I began to start with weight-loss systems. Every time I finished with a famous diet cure, I went up a couple of kilos. When I become 125, I put together several methods, and went back to 90 in two months. Now I stay between 86 and 90 since that with a very, very strict diet.

 
Your family thinks you are crazy believing weird things. Or you think one of your family members is crazy believing weird things. – We all think and believe is slightly weird things, all different, but what I hate is when someone tries to push his/her private beliefs onto the others.

 

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